Flappy Fatkay!

Whats up with these flappy flappy fatkay!? Cant singhs tie pugs these days?? Is it too difficult or do they feel the need to look like their idols like Slim Shady and Jay Z!

The funniest is when you see a singh with a full dhari (beard) with his joori sitting up on his head like a surprised pigeon with the flappy bits at the back spread out over his shoulders like aeroplane wings!! I mean what it going on?

These guys need to be renamed S.A.P’s which stands for Stoopid Application of Patka!

The only excuse to wear a patka (I like to call them ‘fatkay’, as it sounds stupid as well as looking stupid!) are the following:

you are going to the gym
you are at the gym
you are coming home from the gym

Or any other activity such as sports where a dastar would be too uncomfortable!

“Imagine the scene: its 1740, the hindus and Sikhs are facing persecution, the residents of a village are going to be attacked, they have no hope of defending themselves from the approaching moghul army. They do what they can to get a message to the remaining sikh army, their only hope.

As the day of the attack gets closer the men of the village lock up the women and gather what weapons they have, knowing that taking one or two moguls down with them is all they can hope for! They see the dust cloud rise as the enemy approaches; they brace themselves for a short but hard fought battle! Where are the Sikhs, did they not get the message, maybe the messenger was killed?

But wait what’s that, it looks like people, men, they are armed, I can see blue and saffron, it’s the Sikhs!! At last! We now stand a chance, think the villagers! They are overjoyed! The Sikhs approach closer, their long flowing beards blowing gently in the breeze, there huge horses towering the men as high as the sky, weapons glistening, chiming, ringing the pre war battle! But whats this? Somethings not right! Where are their majestic dastars, the crowns of the gurus lions?? They been replaced by FLAPPY FATKAY!!!! Ah man! These huge soldiers ready to do battle with big diamond shaped jooras and flappy fatkay!! the villagers including the women think sod this and beat up the singhs!”

Stop and think! Visualise the scene.

Its wrong in many ways I know. Yes, I would much rather the singhs of today keep there un-cut hair and wear a fatka then have a ‘short back and sides’. But going to the gurdwara and weddings etc with a flappy fatka is just taking it too far!

And the joora on the back of the head is just wrong too, yes again for sports its understandable, but for your hair to be worn like that everyday-to pretend that you haven’t got a joora is just silly! The blonde down the road wont think you’re cool, she’ll just be thinking that you got some sort of strange elongated head!

The guru gave us this image as a reflection of himself, and whenever we can, we must do our duty to represent our guru. Not just visually but, in our action and mannerism we must do as our guru would in all situations, or at least try. Be proud of who you are and your heritage, many people died for you to have the right to wear a dastar and follow the gurus teachings, don’t let that be in vain.

It seems that the future generation of singhs will not be able to tie dastars as there will be fewer singhs to teach them. If you the reader cant tie a dastar, the next time you go to the gurdwara and see someone wearing a dastar you like the look of, just ask them how to tie it and if they will show you, they will never refuse as it will be very flattering of you to ask them.

A dastar/pug/turban shouldn’t take more then 3 minutes to tie, and once tied is one of the most comfortable things you can wear, if yours hurts or is uncomfortable something’s wrong and maybe you are sacrificing form for style.

Come on guys, stop flapping about and tie a dastar! Do it for yourself and do it for your guru!

Where is the love???

As stated in the gospel of the highly popular religious leaders the Black Eyed Peas or known as the BEP’s to cult followers… Where Is The Love?? I mean there are people killing people dying, children hurting you hear them crying. If we all had love this wouldn’t happen (I have chosen to ignore other gospels such as ‘My Hump’ and ‘ Don’t Phunk With My Heart’! which only spread such messages as ‘My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.. check it out’).

Above. The cult leaders themselves!

We as human beings find it such a natural thing to go into hate mode rather then try to understand the person or the situation. This then manifests itself in ill feelings and fighting. Another inspirational Fakir once said fear leads to anger and anger leads to hatred and this is the way to the dark side- his name was Yoda.

Above. Yoda looking all religious and wise!!

I mean if we look at a classic example of Skinheads hating coloured people, these guys have probably never actually sat down and spoke to an asain or black person, if they did they may find they have many things in common, they might like going to the pub, watching football, beating up small people, tax dodging etc. so we can see ignorance leads to hate. If the effort was made to find out where the victim of hate is coming from then there would be no reason to hate.

In Sikhi the key is love! We must love all humans, love god , love and respect all things as Gods creation. If we all adopted this philosophy there would be no need for fighting and wars.

I have seen on so many occasions hatred amongst the Sikhs, farmers hating carpenters, nirmalas hating mainstream Sikhs, all Sikhs hating the SGPC and the AKJ seeming to hate everyone! Come on guys what is this, how can you be truly following the path of the guru when you are not listening to his true message!? Love and respect each other, people of other faiths and people of no faith… in short love all!

We as gursikhs must make the conscious effort to educate our selves of this message and try and change our ways, then we can start our passage to spiritual enlightenment and our quest to merge into the Formless.

Quite fitting for independance day I think!

Mooch Munchers..

Mooch Munchers, what the hell?? We know, we ALL know, we do, oh we know, did I say we know!?

Definition: one you systematically chews their own moustache to prevent the moustache from getting too long.

Why: Apparently a longer moustache may get in the way of eating large foods which are difficult to place in the mouth without disturbing the moustache. This may include foods such as profiteroles and some ice cream, normally the 99 bought from the ice cream van. It may also prove to be an irritation to members of the opposite sex in various questionable circumstances…

Who? Some Singh’s who are so super trendy and slick that if they were a tv character they would definitely be the Fonz from Happy Days! These guys can be spotted hanging out in various locations such as in bars and clubs with their non dastar wearing buddies, awkwardly sipping their orange juice or if they are feeling a little adventurous…. Redbull in the corner! Although they are commonly spotted hanging around outside Gurdwara’s chatting to their fellow Mooch Munchers. Although they are not thought to be found in packs, but integrated with their fellow humans.

How to spot a Mooch Muncher?

Firstly look for the super styled dastar, it will look like every fold has been carefully prepared by the hands of small angels, and they will be wearing snug manly-esque jeans and a rather tight top to extenuate the muscles which have been worked out on with the dumbbells five minutes prior to leaving home!

Secondly, the dhari (beard), you will have seen nothing like it, it will be uncut, tied up and flattened so close to the skin it will look as though it has been painted on. Every hair will be coated with the finest product (shockwaves ultra strong!) so that not a single hair protrudes from the rest of the beard, some of the hardiest may secretly carry products concealed on their person.

Thirdly, the mooch! An unshorn moustache which has a rather curious neat edge above the upper lip. If the mooch is cut with scissors it will be evident as the neat cut will be viewable to all. But by biting or chewing the ends rather then cutting, certain shabbiness is retained so to the untrained eye it looks as though the moustache has never been cut!

Seriously! Come on guys who are you trying to kid, the only idiot is you! Our guru sees everything, you didn’t keep your long beautiful hair, your manly fuzz on your back and shoulders to let yourself down by ‘chewing’ your moustache off. Its really obvious and really disappointing. Our guru didn’t forbid us to ‘cut’ our hair but to remove it. So stop doing it, its wrong and we can see it.

For those with an addiction to mooch munching try dried straw or grass as an alternative, or an old woolly jumper or something!

If you know someone who is partaking in this foolish activity point it out to them and encourage them to stop, together with your help we can stop this tomfoolery and rid our brothers of this diabolical of acts!

Remember God is watching you, we are watching you, we all know…we can see… we can see you now… we are watching… we want to see your moocha grow from today….. so stop munching!

GOD is great..

Wah-he-guru!! what perfection!?

I used to think that god was alright, kind of cool, making all the universe and everything, he must be really strong and BIG and a rather clever fellow to do all that, I mean imagine designing the whole human body and mind then making it function! I cant even figure out my car engine yet.

This is what i thought until I started doing a bit of reading and discussing of Baani, that just blew me clean out of the water, it showed me that whatever limit i had set in my mind for Akaal Purukh, he was so much more, and when i tried to box in what god is, i couldn't, you cant, nobody can.

Its like imagining counting to infinity, you cant (accept for Chuck Norris who has done it twice incidentally!) Nirankaar is beyond human comprehension.

So what is god? What do you see when you think of him? Is he like a human, a light, energy, a solar system? well, i think he is all of the above and so much more that our dopey brains cant even start to fathom.

So remember God is amazing..... Waheguru!

(we shall have further discussions on god later, I'm sure. by the way when i refer to god as 'he', im not implying he's a male, that is a constraint for lifeforms and god isn't that, it just makes writing easier for me)

welcome to my blog....

Well, just as the whole world seems to be moving on to face book i decide to get a blog!! I have been thinking about creating a blog for sometime to take a lighthearted look at Sikhi related topics, things which inspire me, annoy me (this is going to be my favorite!) and anything else that springs to mind.

I hope I can keep on top of this blog with updates and good thought provoking blogs. Lets see where this goes or doesn't!

Remember, the posts here are probably my opinion or limited to my knowledge, research and observations so do look in to things for yourself and question for yourself too! If i offend please forgive me as i am still a child (thats the first of the lies right there!), really, I am still learning so I may make mistakes.

so here goes......